Hey again. I haven't been posting for a while now, frankly because I've been running away from a lot of things. And boy am I sick of feeling sorry for myself and always doing things that don't help at all. One might say that I've been in a "dating stint" for almost two years now. Call it what you wish, I know for what reasons I got into this and for what I perhaps passed it off as to others and to myself, and now I'm reconsidering what I'm doing here. Thinking out loud: I stopped "dating" because I lost interest in the silly game of chasing each other around while you make a fool of yourself and try to be someone you're not. Or perhaps I lost interest in what kind of person I became when I was in a relationship. Don't get me wrong, I still had my share of crushes and whimsies, but none ever worked out and nothing came of them. Then there was Graham. I can't call it dating and it was a rather foolish venture by any standard, but I did care very much for him. In hindsight, I should never have gotten into something that took me from my Lord, but I've always been willful and maybe that will never change. Since then I've been ducking the whole dating subject, claiming it was for righteous reasons. And perhaps part of it was, but for the greatest part, it was because I'm still so immature, I've grown so tired of watching other people "date", and general apathy. So now what happens? A good deal of me wants to come out of this stint and the rest says that there are still valid reasons to stay out of the game. Get to know the boy first, methinks. And if he likes me, I'll take stock and decide. But if he doesn't, the problem is solved.